So much more back and forth has happened that I completely went off the grid. Apologies, but I’m going to try and catch up now.
After the last reply from my parents, I didn’t reply, but Dad wrote me a separate email later. Here it is, with my notes italicized:
Dear Damsel,
I know whatever rational or emotional pleadings made to you to leave the bf will not impress you. So all I can do is to remind you three important things.
Relationship
While you are enjoying your life, please bear in mind that in your bf’s heart, his daughter is always more important than his love to you. This is only natural as the daughter is his child and she will remain his priority. (Obviously, this is something I’ve already struggled with, but now that I have a relationship with his daughter I can appreciate the difference in terms of his love for me and his love for his daughter, and I don’t even care about this anymore.)When mom asked you to meet his daughter, she hoped that after your meeting his daughter and his wife, you would realize Tor’s background was too complicated for you to live with for the rest of your life. (I KNEW IT! I knew her intentions were not quite simply “make sure you see the whole picture”!!)
His daughter’s bonding with you is irrelevant because the bf’s wife would be jealous and on guard if her daughter ever feels close to you.
Finance
Most important thing for you is to separate your money from his. Don’t ever loan him or guarantee any loan for him, you can get yourself into big financial trouble if you do. Watch out for your own money. (What? What does this specifically have to do with the bf? Why am I going to get into big financial trouble if I lend him money? WHAT?)If he has permanent financial obligations independent of your relationship, you may end up bearing more of a burden than you expect.
Family
Would you be willing to risk your family not being part of your day to day life? Because we think he’s not best for you, knowing you two are together means we will inevitably distance ourselves from you. (No sh*t.)With all the changes and sacrifices you have made, if the bf were in your shoes, would he be able to do the same for you? Think about it. (What, defy his family to be with the woman he loves? Yes I think he’d do the same for me!)
Best,
Dad
The whole email was kind of ridic, maybe except for the second paragraph under the “finance” heading.
dating a dad blog 