More Emails, cont.

Aug 1st, Dad sent me the following:

Hi Damsel,

It caused me a great deal of heartache to know that you have been seeing a shrink. The reason for my headache is not because of the consultation fee you have to pay but because of the knowledge that you must be feeling all alone in the world.

Please don’t feel sad or left out. You are not alone. I am always there whenever you need me. And the channels of dialogue among all  four of us have never been closed. In fact they have always been wide open.

Yes, Mom reacts strongly when you don’t listen to her opinion on your bf. That’s because she cares for you too much. You probably find it difficult talking to her as you can’t handle her emotion over the phone. As a result, you restrict yourself to superficial chatter when talking to her.

But you and I can talk no problem. You are my little princess and I love you as much as I love your sister. You two are equal to me. Your sister is more pragmatic and has better financial sense but that doesn’t make me love you less.

Feel free to whatsapp me, email me, call me, FaceTime me at any time you feel like talking. Or leave me a message to call you back at a time convenient to you.

At this stage, I know I can’t convince you of our opinion on your relationship but it doesn’t mean you can’t confide in me. If you don’t speak out, I can’t communicate with you. In a dialogue, one party has to take the initiative.

Shrinks are like lawyers. They stir things up so they can bill you. They will tell you that you have problems so you will keep going back to see them.

Forget about the shrink. Start your dialogue with me. Let me know when I can call you

on your Monday or Tuesday.

Love you,

Dad

I didn’t reply to the email right away but I did text him to thank him for the email. It was still frustrating though because the only reason I have a therapist (not a “shrink”!) is because of them! What am I going to say to him? Complain about him to him? Awk-ward. Either way, the gesture was sweet and I appreciated it.

Unfortunately, that Monday or Tuesday I was traveling with the bf and his daughter to his hometown so I didn’t arrange a time to talk to Dad. He was texting me a little bit and I didn’t say who I was going on a trip with but I did say I was meeting up with my bff, and then he remembered that the bf is from there too and that’s when I told him we were staying with his family. Then, he texts me “observe his relationship with his sister – they don’t get along” or something along those lines so I knew instantly my sister must have said something to him and then he grossly exaggerated it on the negative side! So I was like “actually they do get along, we are staying with his sister tomorrow night”. UGH. (I also talked to my sis after this incident and told her not to say ANYTHING that might be misinterpreted in a negative way.)

(Also – I have saved up more money than my sister so not sure why Dad thinks I have less “financial sense” than her – so annoying! Just because I like to shop? I’ve pretty much saved up a whole emergency fund on my own to last me for 6 months if I ever needed it! My sister doesn’t have that, nor does she have as robust a retirement fund as I do. Wtf.)