Yesterday was the day – the day I finally met the ex-wife, and as an added bonus, I met their daughter!
We met at a Starbucks at noon (after she made the bf meet her first so that she could hand their daughter off to him while she came to meet me). I was so nervous prior to the meeting – the bf and I were trying to guess what she’d say or ask, neither of us really having any idea how it would go.
When she found me at my table she sat down and just said she wanted to meet me and make sure that whoever will be around her daughter will be a good influence. What struck me as rather generous was that she also said “the more people who love her, the better”, and didn’t come across territorial at all. I also just made sure to steer clear of saying anything that might make her feel jealous or threatened, and emphasized that I want everything to be as easy and comfortable for everyone involved as possible, and I think she appreciated. We also talked a little about where we grew up and other various things. 45 minutes later she looks at her watch and says, “Not sure where they went…let’s just have them meet us here.” So I pulled my phone out and texted the bf to come by.
He appears almost instantly and I see his daughter with him, and she is instantly shy. (You know how kids get when they’re shy and acting out a little bit for attention? That’s what she was doing – hitting the bf on his belly with the stuffed animal he just got her; getting her mom to take off her jacket and put it on backwards and zipping her into it, pulling the hood over her face, etc. I just smiled but didn’t want to put any pressure on her, though the ex wife and bf both kept trying to make her say hi to me. Finally she gave in with a wave, and made the briefest of eye contact with me.
Later the bf said he didn’t think I’d be allowed to meet the daughter right then and there, but the ex wife must have just decided to give me her stamp of approval to suggest that I have them meet us. Either way, I am glad to have finally taken that step!
Also, I got my official offer letter on Friday while I was out shopping with the bf, and I got both a raise AND a signing bonus, which I definitely did not expect! I also announced it to my team today and let them know we’ll be transitioning, and I also had a call with the managers to figure out when I’ll be there this month to help out, and I’ll be there the week before I move. (Moving on Saturday the 28th!) I’m also hoping I can convince work to let me stay the weekend while I’m there since that’s a dad weekend and I can spend more time with the daughter.
As always, I’ll keep you all posted. 🙂
Next step: telling my mom that I’m moving…I wonder if she’ll connect the dots with the fact that I told her months ago that the bf was trying to move there because his daughter moved. Wish me luck!
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