Judgey McJudgerson

A good friend of mine (last mentioned here) and I caught up the other night on the phone – we don’t live in the same area and she is in school and super busy all the time, so every once in a while we get on the phone for a catch up call. I told her about the upcoming move, the job offer, and everything, and she goes, “I didn’t want to say anything before, but this whole thing just doesn’t feel right.” I asked her for clarification, and she says, “I don’t know if it’s the relationship, or the situation, but it just doesn’t feel right to me and it hasn’t for a while.”

REALLY? Let’s recap her relationship/boyfriend:

1. Her boyfriend is a deadbeat.
2. He is needy and selfish and self-centered.
3. He’s a liar, and lies about important stuff. (For example, last time we talked she told me his ex-wife got a lawyer to both drain and freeze his accounts, so he has no money. That doesn’t even sound legal to me – you can’t just outright freeze someone’s accounts AND drain them without notice! There’s no way! And let’s not forget him lying about his and his ex-wife’s custody arrangements and him telling my friend he got tricked into signing papers, and later telling my bf that he knew exactly what he was doing and got what he wanted.)
4. She is embarrassed to introduce him to her friends.
5. She is conflicted about staying with him because he embarrasses her, doesn’t have any “social standing”, rubs people the wrong way, and has had a vasectomy (and she wants kids of her own some day).

Does this sound like someone you would listen to for relationship advice, or even vague statements about her “feelings” about your relationship? Um, no.

It was still highly irritating though – I love my bf and our relationship, and everything seems to be falling into place. I suspect she is just jealous that everything seems to be working out for me while she stays conflicted about her own life. It was also irritating because even with all the facts mentioned above, I keep my mouth shut when it comes to saying anything judgey, and yet here she is with some wishy washy statement about MY relationship not “feeling” right to HER! Ridiculous.

Just wanted to get that off my chest…