I decided to tell my parents that I am moving on Monday night. I wanted to give them adequate time to adjust to the fact that I will be moving, and why. After consulting my therapist, we decided to focus on just the fact that the move will be great for my career (even though technically it’s a lateral move, I got a signing bonus AND a raise, and will now be making 9.5% more than I did last year, which wouldn’t have happened if I had just stayed in my same position and same city). So that’s what I did, and my mom did NOT look happy, though she just said, “Well if you’re happy, I’m happy” a couple times while not looking happy at all.
Two hours later, she texted my sister asking if I am moving because of the boyfriend. My sister called me and we discussed it and she decided she is just going to emphasize that the company needed me in that area and that’s the main reason. I wish she would just talk to me about it, but my therapist says that “triangular communication” (such a good term for this!) is common in families (and heck, my mom does this to my sister as well).
So when they talked, she asked my sis if I was moving FOR the bf. Sis replied, “Well she wanted the money, but I’m sure he was a factor in the decision.” And then Mom goes, “Well did you ASK her?” and my sister says, “Why? What’s the point? She’s happy. Let it go.” and then moved on to chat about her wedding. And then when they talked about the wedding, Sis asked Mom why she wasn’t more excited to help plan, and Mom says, “Because I’m sad!” [insert major eye roll here]. For some reason Mom just refuses to believe that my sister is happy and made the right decision for her, same with me. (Except Sis’s bf also does not have a divorce under the belt, or a kid, so Mom really should be liking him more than she does.)
Sorry Mom, I’m so over you behaving this way!
dating a dad blog 